In reading about anger related to Parkinson's Disease, I realized that many aspects of the book related to some Parkies I have met at seminars over the last four years. Anger at having the disease, anger at how it has changed their lives, anger at having to quit a job, anger at not being able to drive, anger at the loss of independence. There may be times of “why me” as well. While all justifiable, I don’t have enough energy to get angry. I need all the energy I have just to get through each day.
As a person with two non-curable diseases, I suppose I am not the norm when it comes to being diagnosed with PD. Sure, I experienced many of the above changes, but I wasn't angry about them. I have always dealt with what is in front of me, not what I wish I had, to keep going day to day. Sure, frustration can set in, but true anger, no. No room on the plate for that one. But for those who do get angry, what to do? Sure, you can talk with your pastor or a therapist, but what it comes down to is how you CHOOSE to behave each day when you awake. For instance, you get up, or try to, but your body is not behaving. What about lying in bed and doing some stretching exercises to get the muscles warmed up and moving BEFORE you get out of bed. Not a novel idea, but who does this? It warms the muscles and gets the joints lubricated before you take one step.
Can’t button the shirt? Time to get some more pull-overs. Tell the kids, as the holidays are coming! More delicately, you can’t make it to the bathroom on time? Women have been wearing Kotex for years, and now there are Depends for adults. No shame or embarrassment there ~ better to be safe than soiling your clothes and really feeling bad or embarrassed in public. For each task we do each day, there are a number of alternative ways to manage the same feat. Work AROUND the disease ~ and don’t let anger get the best of you!
Most importantly, anger manifests itself frequently in hurting those we love most. The ones who are closest to us and help us with everyday things 24/7 become targets for our anger. Things we would not even dream of saying if we were not angry come out in venomous rages when anger is not controlled. So you can CHOOSE to be angry or you can CHOOSE to be happy. If you are angry all the time the only one it hurts is you and the ones around you. Much better to take that energy and serve it up on a positive platter.
Pat, This is a very well written post. Anger can be channeled as an emotion to fuel positive action, but generally acting out in anger is a destructive force and does not have many benefits. I appreciate the way you approach things and choose to be patient and take life a step at a time. Accepting a diagnosis is not as easily accomplished for some, but you are extraordinary in your positive attitude. Thanks for the effort and talent in writing this blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dan, I appreciate your comments more than you know. Anger can be a nasty rattlesnake that can bite you, and kill you. Being more positive and not letting new challenges make me angry allows me to find my way around those challenges, even if they take me more time to accomplish my tasks. Patience is my new middle name.
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